this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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