genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this will be a night to untag.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
