wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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