After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
