if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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