We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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