we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
