Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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