My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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