Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
should my penis look like a turkey
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
