Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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