so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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