im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
