Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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