Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize