Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
