So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
