3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That reminds me...we need to get swords
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
