can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
