I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
