I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
