his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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