Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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