I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
