Do vagina's smell?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
