i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
