Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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