I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
