Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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