New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
