A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
