My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
