i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
