Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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