somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
