Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
