he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
