Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
