her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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