sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
