I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
