The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
