i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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