Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize