she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
