matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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