Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need water and some morals
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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