so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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