Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
