You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
