I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
