another moral hangover. fuck.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
