I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
