I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
