i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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