I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
