god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
